When things disagreeably or unpleasantly get away from our grasp, be it a person, object or situation, we feel unhappy and stressed. We find ourselves mentally and emotionally disoriented and sometimes socially unstable. The top things that mostly make people unhappy according to research are
- People 60%
- Unfavorable circumstances 57%
- Worriness 51%
- Disappointments 42%
- Fear 33%
Why are people the leading cause of unhappiness? This is because people rely heavily on their emotions while interacting with those they care about. They wanted a sense of belonging, validation, and emotional support. The stress of dysfunctional relationships in the environment takes a toll on the self-esteem and self-confidence of those who are continuously in dispute with those around them; being ridiculed and mistreated makes it difficult to retain a positive attitude on life.
I used to live in a compound where everyone could monitor everything I did and spoke. Since I’m new in the area, I’m constantly getting criticism for the way I talk, how I dress, and how I interact with others. I can hear my roommates making hurtful remarks, which make me wanted to retaliate. I try to defend my action and explain myself but all the more I am in conflict with them. The more I talk the more I am being misunderstood. I therefore stopped talking and decided not to become friends with anyone who dislikes me, ignoring their negative comments.
I learnt to ignore and think on their remarks, reflect on myself validating their bias. I restrained myself from getting involved in any issues or conflict among the people in the surroundings. Not long after I gain respect and recognition from those people who have refined characters compared to those people who dislike me.
Conflict can be socially stressful, which could contribute to our feeling of inadequacy or unhappiness; trying to live up to their standard and stooping to their level diminishes our self-esteem and confidence. However, the best way to deal with conflicts is to hold our peace, resisting the temptation to react violently and engage in a brawl.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
Romans 12:21 is the final verse of chapter 12 and says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
In essence holding our peace means to cultivate serenity and and maintain happiness.
Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness without which no man shall see the Lord.
Organize Suffering into a Blessing 